Christmas
by Silver Sparklze
Summary: (Crossover BTVSHP) Two years after ‘Chosen’ Xander finds comfort in the most unlikely person…


**Fic For All Challenge Pairing #46 (Xander/Nymphadora Tonks)**

Title: Christmas

Author: Silver Sparklze

Summary: Two years after 'Chosen' Xander finds comfort in the most unlikely person…

Warnings: Some explicit language.

Timeline: It's two years after 'Chosen'. That makes it 2005. I don't know how old Tonks is, but I do know she's at least three years older than Xander. Does anyone know how much older than Harry Potter she is? If so I would be _most_ obliged.

Pairing: Hints of Xander/Anya, and Nymphadora/Remus, but mostly Xander/Nymphadora.

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Xander put down his empty glass with a 'thud', and signalled for a top up from the bartender. He didn't even turn around when someone slipped into the seat beside him. In fact, he didn't even notice until the newcomer spoke in a husky voice that reminded him of whiskey and cream.

"Rough day?"

He turned around, blinking one eye at the woman. She was short, maybe even shorter than Buffy, and kind of stocky in a capable sort of way. Totally ordinary looking if it wasn't for the two-sizes too small black baby-doll shirt she was wearing, red plaid mini-skirt, and ripped fishnet stockings with Doc Martens. That and her bright red spiky hair. "Rough life is more like it." He grumbled, taking a swig of his beer.

"American, huh? Cool." She tipped her head to one side, smirking in a way that was all too reminiscent of a vampire Xander loved to hate…before he went and proved he was just as good as the rest of them by sacrificing his life for them all.

"And busy, if you don't mind."

"Oh, but I _do_." She was practically purring. "Handsome gentleman like yourself, alone in a seedy bar. 'S not natural is what it is."

Fuck, she even _spoke_ like Spike. "Look, I don't want to talk, ok?" He snapped, his one good eye glaring at her.

"No, you don't." The woman agreed. "But you need to."

"Who are you?" He snarled.

"Was wondering when you were going to ask me that. The name's Nymphadora Tonks, but most call me Tonks. No one calls me Nymphadora unless they want to lose very important body parts." Her dark eyes twinkled. "So tell me, who'd you lose?"

"A lot of people. Just leave me the fuck alone, alright?"

"No."

Xander looked up, surprised by her flat refusal. Most people would be jumping at the chance to leave him alone in this mood, even Buffy and Willow didn't mess with him when he was like this. "Why?" He asked, curiosity taking precedence over anger for now.

Tonks shrugged. "Because, whether you want to or not, you need to talk about whatever it is that's bothering you. Besides, it's Christmas Eve. Time for good cheer and all that crap."

Xander felt the corners of his mouth twitch at those words. "And you want to listen to me talk?"

"Do you see anyone else around who's willing to? Whatever it is, it can't be _that_ bad."

"Oh?" Xander felt a burning desire to prove her wrong. "How about this? My girlfriend, who used to be my fiancé, until I chickened out of our wedding, at which point she went crazy and killed a bunch of people, was killed in an apocalypse, as well as a bunch of girls I helped teach to fight, I lost an eye because I got into a fight with a psychotic priest who was helping the First Evil, and my life has basically sucked since I was born.

"I grew up on a Hellmouth, was one of the biggest geeks in high school, had a crush on one of my best friends and had a relationship with the other, was nearly killed dozens, if not hundreds of times, and have been put in danger repeatedly because of who my friends are.

"I used to be a construction worker, which was a job I loved, but I can't do it anymore because of said lost eye, so now I work as a phone consultant in a friend's company because it's the only way I can contribute.

"On top of all that, it's Christmas time, and it's around this time of year that my girlfriend died.

"Is my life still 'not that bad' in your book?"

"Nope. It's worse. But not as bad as it could have been." Tonks said, sipping on her own drink, a Piña Colada.

"Oh, and why is that?" Xander asked sarcastically.

"Well think about it," Tonks said reasonably. "Your girlfriend loved you, right?"

"Yes…" Xander said, unsure of where all this was leading.

"At least you had that. The guy I loved…" Her breath hitched, and Xander realised for the first time that under Tonks' brash exterior lay a girl who was hurting just like Buffy and Willow and Dawn and the rest, "well, suffice to say he didn't love me back. And he was killed in the war I was fighting, so now I don't even have the chance to tell him I loved him, you know? And I do. With all my heart." Tears were running down Tonks' face, but she kept talking, her voice calm and steady. "And now he'll never know. It hurts so bad, every morning I wake up and want to die."

"Why don't you?" Xander whispered, fascinated.

Tonks turned to look at him, and Xander realised for the first time that she was actually quite pretty. "Because I can't." She said firmly. "That's the coward's way out, and even though it hurts, I know that Remus wouldn't want me to die, even though he didn't love me. We were friends. And I owe it to him, and to my other friends, to keep on living. To get up every day and face the world with a smile on my face, even if it is forced. Remus wouldn't want me to be sad for the rest of my life." She looked at her watch. "Look, it's Christmas. I should be going." She stood up.

Xander put a hand on her arm. "Do you have anything to do today?" He asked softly.

Tonks frowned. "No…I was going to go to a friend's Christmas Party, but I can bring a date, or cancel. Why?"

"Because I'd like to spend today with you. We can swap war stories." Xander grinned crookedly.

Tonks smiled back. "I'd like that." She said.


End file.
